I've got me own vessel now, and in the grand tradition of piracy, it must be christened. It is with a hand shaky from alcoholism and a heart proud from the adversity of clicking the "New Account" button and all the trials that followed that I apply the stencil reading "The Everlasting Disappointment" to the side of this canoe while pretending to say a prayer.

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"Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is all right with me,
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo Ho, ahoy and avast,
Being a pirate is really badass!
Hang the black flag at the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!

You are a pirate! - Yay!

We've got us a map, (a map!)
To lead us to a hidden box,

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